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Today’s youth struggle with difficult questions of sexual identity. How can a youth worker offer wise care and counsel on such a controversial and confusing subject? Mark Yarhouse, director of the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity, equips youth ministers so they can faithfully navigate the topic of sexual identity in a way that is honest, compassionate, and accessible.
Reframing the focus away from the culture wars, Yarhouse introduces readers to the developmental considerations in the formation of sexual identity―all of which occurs in the teen years. He offers practical and helpful ways to think about homosexuality along with suggestions for talking with people who experience same-sex attraction. He also helps parents and youth volunteers learn to graciously respond to children and teens who struggle with questions of sexual identity, and discusses how youth ministry can become more relevant in the lives of youth who are navigating these issues.
- Sales Rank: #154517 in Books
- Brand: HarperCollins Christian Pub.
- Published on: 2013-10-14
- Released on: 2013-10-14
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.99" h x .47" w x 5.31" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 208 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Essential Reading for Youth Pastors (and Others Interested in Ministering to Youth)
By Karen
Today’s youth face a lot of challenges when it comes to issues of sexual identity, yet for too long the Church has not known how to respond. Christians often see homosexuality as an “adult” issue not realizing that many gay people recognize their same-sex attractions at 12 or 13 years old, sometimes even younger. Dr. Mark Yarhouse’s book is a long time coming as a resource for youth pastors on how to minister to young people who are experiencing same-sex attractions. I highly recommend this excellent resource. It is the only book of its kind addressing youth ministry needs in churches with a traditional sexual ethic. However, the book is useful for anyone thinking through issues of sexual identity.
"Understanding Sexual Identity" is divided into twelve chapters. However, the Table of Contents is not as helpful as it could be as the titles are very general, making it difficult to know which chapter to turn to about specific issues and questions. Here is a “translation” of what you will find:
Chapter 1: “Becoming a Better Trail Guide” = INTRODUCTION. Describes the importance of beginning from a disposition of compassion and civility on the issue. Key terms are defined.
Chapter 2: “Check Conditions” = Discusses the INNER CONFLICT that can exist between faith and sexuality. Specifically, questions teens have about sexual identity vs. questions they have about religious identity.
Chapter 3: “Markers on the Trail” = The DEVELOPMENTAL process; “how people who identify as Gay end up adopting a Gay identity.” In other words, stages of identity development.
Chapter 4: “Finding a Path” = Discussion around the importance of recognizing the IDENTITY SCRIPT and how that has been meaningful to people in the Gay community. Challenges the Church to develop its own compelling identity script, as it has failed to do so (it tends to have a shame script).
Chapter 5: “Setting a Course” = First steps to developing a successful MINISTRY. Also addresses some questions around etiology of same-sex attraction.
Chapter 6: “Learning to Read Maps” = Addresses question of SEXUAL ORIENTATION change and explains distinctions between attraction, orientation, and behavior.
Chapter 7: “On Not Hiking Alone” = How to encourage SELF-DISCLOSURE and respond beneficially when youth do open up and share their same-sex attractions. Building healthy RELATIONSHIPS and creating safe/redemptive space.
Chapter 8: “Communicating with Base Camp” = Discussion around FAMILY, including disclosure/confidentiality issues, involving parents in the process, as well as dealing with parent responses to their child’s disclosure.
Chapter 9: “Finding God on the Trail” = How GOD fits into the process.
Chapter 10: “Ministry between Miracles” = ON-GOING CARE for youth. Helping youth cope with the same-sex attractions for the longer haul. Realistic expectations given that change in sexual orientation is rare (although Yarhouse recognizes that youth sexuality is still developing and just because a teen has same-sex attractions does not necessarily mean s/he has a more fixed orientation).
Chapter 11: “Mapping a Ministry Focus” = Youth Pastor needs to address own sexuality and educational needs. Also discusses different kinds of MINISTRY MODELS.
Yarhouse does an excellent job listening to Christian sexual minorities. As a result he is very insightful regarding developmental processes and ministry needs. It also doesn’t hurt that he has previous experience as a youth minister. He avoids old pitfalls that fixate on sexual orientation change and instead encourages community support and discipleship. The discussion around identity scripts is helpful for churches to understand the importance of creating a compelling narrative for sexual minority youth. Yarhouse is also very respectful of the youth themselves. He recognizes that young people have to wrestle through their questions; adults cannot “fix” things or make decisions on behalf of teens. Ultimately these young people will make decisions for how they will live their lives. The important thing is that they do not have to do that alone. Youth pastors can be a positive influence and guide and can help draw in other important relational support, including family members and friends.
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
A fantastic resource for the church
By Julie Rodgers
This is a phenomenal resource for Christians seeking to better understand how to love and support gay (or same sex attracted) Christians. As a gay person who holds traditional Christian values and seeks to honor the Lord through celibacy, I would have loved for those walking with me in my teenage years to support me in the gracious, compassionate manner Yarhouse describes in this book.
He challenges Christians to get outside the culture war mentality in order to walk with young people as they navigate the rocky terrain of finding congruence between their faith and sexuality. The book offers tremendous insight into the unique challenges facing gay youth, and he encourages those who walk with them to assume a posture of compassion, a resolve to stick with them no matter what, and a willingness to allow the young person to be in the driver’s seat so they can truly own the choices they make. If you read much on this topic then you realize just how rare that is.
Written in a winsome way that’s accessible for readers who have little knowledge on this topic, Yarhouse shares research on sexual identity development, the meaning youth attach to emerging conflicts, and the feelings of shame many experience in the process. In the polarizing debate, where we often hear simplistic explanations about the causes of homosexual attractions or arguments on whether it can change, this book presents a balanced and realistic response that will shift the conversation in a more life-giving direction. Yarhouse offers practical advice for creating the kinds of communities that will provide youth prone toward shame and despair a place to be known and loved. He offers wisdom on how to walk with parents (who are often blamed and shamed by the church) in a manner that will support them, setting them up to flourish in family relationships that can be challenging to navigate. Ultimately, he places you in the shoes of those who are questioning and confused, and urges you to walk with them toward Christ with a heart full of compassion.
While the book is written for those who are directly involved in ministry to youth, it’s something everyone needs to read. If you have a gay brother, or a gay neighbor, or you might eventually cross paths with a gay barista, you need to read this book. It will bring greater understanding that will lead to greater empathy, and we can all benefit from a read that highlights the value and dignity of human beings made in the image of God.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Compassionate Resource for Youth Leaders
By B. Baxter
Compassionate and realistic are the best adjectives to describe this book. Professor Yarhouse writes in a way that is accessible to non-academic types and yet is based on his extensive academic knowledge and 20 years of research on same sex attraction. This book makes suggestions to church youth leaders which, if taken seriously, may allow them to improve their response to the youth in their churches who struggle with questions of sexual identity. As a therapist working with the conservative Christian community, I have seen disastrous responses by church leaders and youth leaders, within the year I have seen my first case of a youth suicide where same sex attraction was handled rather ineffectively. A brief quote from the book may be useful here: "The things we are writing about will not radically change in any young person's life over a short time...What is important is that come to a place where they are clear about the choices they are making...and that they are at peace about the path they are choosing." This book is a valuable resource for our church leaders.
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